Jasmine the Misanthropist ← Main site

Privacy & Terms

Last updated October 9, 2026

This page explains what I collect through this website, how I use it, and the basic terms for my books, music, custom orders, document help, privacy services, websites, book publishing, and monthly plans. "I" and "me" means Jasmine the Misanthropist.

What I collect

Order and message forms: your name, how to reach you, and what you type into the form. Forms are delivered to my email through a form service called Web3Forms.
Email list: your first name and email, only if you sign up.
Document Help files: the text, photos, and pages you send me for your document.
Website and publishing projects: your business or book details, text, photos, and logos, plus any account access you choose to give me while I set things up. Logins are kept in an encrypted password manager and handed to you when the work is done.
Shipping addresses: for printed books, CDs, flash drives, and gag gifts.
Payments: handled by Stripe. I see your name, email, and the amount, but never your full card number.
Privacy Clean-Up orders: the details you send me after signing (like date of birth, past addresses, phone numbers, and emails). I never ask for your Social Security number, ID, bank details, or the passwords to your own accounts.

This site doesn't use tracking ads. Links on the deals page go to other companies, and their own privacy policies apply once you leave this site.

How I use and protect it

Only to fill your order, answer your message, or complete the privacy package you chose.
I never sell, rent, or share your information for anyone's marketing. I only give a printer, gift company, or shipping carrier what they need to deliver your order, like a name and shipping address.
Privacy Clean-Up details are kept in encrypted email and an encrypted password manager, and deleted within 30 days after your setup is handed over. I keep only your signed form and payment receipt as business records.
If your information is ever affected by a security problem, I'll tell you quickly.

Your choices

You can ask me what I have about you, or ask me to delete it, any time through the "Send me a message" form on the main page. I may keep payment and signed-authorization records when the law requires it.

Custom songs

$15 per song. You get the finished song file to keep and use personally however you want.
I decide which songs go on my music pages. I can decline to release any song for any reason. Diss songs and very personal songs usually stay private.
Songs are made with AI music tools. I own my released catalog.
A Song Keepsake Page is $10: a printable page with your lyrics and a QR code linking to your song. It's a digital file you print yourself.

Business jingles and intros

$35 per song. You can use it to promote your business or channel, including social media, videos, podcasts, ads, and in your store.
You confirm you own or have the right to use the business name, slogan, and details you send me.
Songs are made with AI music tools under a paid plan that allows commercial use. AI-made music may not qualify for copyright registration, and it may sound similar to other music, so I can't promise you exclusive rights or that you can register it. I won't sell or give the same song to anyone else.
I don't release business jingles on my music pages.

Custom books

Prices are listed on the main page and paid up front. I start once your payment goes through, and you approve a preview before anything is printed or published.
Only send names, photos, and stories you have the right to share, with permission from the people in them (a parent or guardian for children). You let me use them to make your book, and for Amazon books, to publish and sell it.
Private books are never published or sold. Your price includes printing and shipping one order to one US address. I have them printed by a professional photo book printer and shipped straight to you, usually within 1 to 2 weeks after you approve the preview. Extra copies are $45 each and ship with your order. Books have the page limits shown on the main page. If a book arrives damaged or misprinted, send me a photo within 14 days and I'll get it replaced.
Amazon books are published under my name through my Amazon account. I own the published edition, set its price, and keep all royalties from sales. Your price pays for making the book and doesn't include a share of sales or future royalties. Anyone, including you, can buy copies on Amazon. Amazon's rules and review times apply, and I decide whether a book stays on sale.
Once you approve the preview and I order printing or publish the book, the order can't be canceled or refunded.

Signed copies

$25 per signed paperback, including US shipping. I order fresh copies from my printer, sign them, and mail them, usually within 2 to 3 weeks. Signed copies can't be returned, but if a book arrives damaged, send me a photo within 14 days and I'll replace it.

CDs and flash drives

These contain my own music only. CD $15 (up to 18 songs), flash drive $25, shipping $10 or free local pickup.

Privacy Clean-Up

I set up removal services and send opt-out requests as your authorized agent, using the written authorization you sign.
Family plans cover up to 6 people. Every adult signs their own authorization, and a parent or legal guardian signs for children under 18.
I only work on the privacy of the person who signs. I don't look people up, and this is not a background check, credit repair, or legal advice.
No one can guarantee every listing is removed. Sites may re-list people over time.
If I can't start your work, you get a full refund. Once setup is complete, the fee is non-refundable. Any removal service subscription is billed by that service under its own terms. Removal services only work while their subscription is paid. When it lapses, scanning and removals stop and sites may re-list you.
Managed plans ($19/month or $130/year for one person, $35/month or $220/year for a family) renew automatically until you cancel. Cancel anytime by message; it takes effect at the end of the period you already paid for, with no partial refunds. If a removal service limits or closes your account, I'll move you to a comparable service at no extra setup cost or refund unused managed-plan time. I'll give 30 days' notice before any price change, and when your plan ends I hand your account logins over to you. You can cancel yourself anytime at jasminethemisanthropist.com/go/manage-plan, using the email you paid with.

Gag Gift Concierge

I place novelty gag gift orders (glitter and confetti bombs, message potatoes, prank letters, animal-poop gifts, singles or combo packs), and I put together and ship my own handmade prank boxes on your instructions with third-party gift companies. Listed prices include the gift, shipping, and my fee, based on each company's standard prices. If their prices change, I update mine. Each company's own terms also apply, and delivery times depend on them and the carrier. Handmade prank boxes ship from me within 5 business days with my business mailbox as the return address. Their contents may vary slightly from the description.
Your name is never shared with the recipient, and I email you tracking numbers and updates. If I can't accept an order, you get a full refund.
Gifts are for entertainment only, sent to adult friends or family who will take them as a joke. I don't look up addresses.
Adults-only (18+) items are sent only when you confirm the recipient is an adult who enjoys adult humor, and never to a workplace or a home where children may open the mail.
I won't send to an ex, anyone who asked you to leave them alone, anyone under a protection or no-contact order, or anyone you're in a dispute with. No threats, harassment, slurs, or sexual content.
You are responsible for the gift and message. Placed orders can't be canceled or refunded.
I keep your name private from the recipient unless the law requires otherwise, and delete the recipient's address within 30 days after delivery.

Document Help

I design, type, format, and proofread documents like resumes, flyers, invitations, programs, and fillable forms. Prices are listed on the main page and paid up front.
I'm not a lawyer, tax preparer, or notary. I don't give legal, tax, or financial advice, and I don't prepare legal documents (like wills, powers of attorney, leases, contracts, divorce or custody papers, or court filings), immigration forms, or tax returns.
I won't make fake or altered documents, including pay stubs, bank statements, doctor's notes, IDs, diplomas, letters written as someone else, or reviews. Resumes include only true information you give me.
You confirm that what you send is accurate and yours to share, and that you have permission to use any names, photos, or logos. You're responsible for checking your finished document and for how you use it. I don't guarantee results like job offers.
QR codes are static: they never expire and have no monthly fees, but they always open the exact link you gave me. If your link changes, you'll need a new code. You confirm any link you send is yours or one you have the right to use. I won't make codes that lead to someone else's page, a copycat site, or anything meant to trick people. I test each code before sending it, and you should test it again before printing. Wi-Fi codes contain your network password, so I delete them with your other files after 30 days.
Two rounds of changes are included. If I can't take your order, you get a full refund. Once I send your first draft, the order can't be refunded, but you still get your changes.
Once you've paid in full, the finished document is yours to use. I delete your files 30 days after delivery.

Funeral and memorial help

I write obituaries, lay out programs and keepsake cards, build memorial slideshows, restore old photos, and press buttons, keychains, magnets, ribbons and similar keepsakes. Prices are on the main page and paid up front.
Service dates come first. Tell me the date in your request and I'll tell you honestly, before you pay, whether I can make it. If I accept a date and then miss it, I refund you in full.
You see a draft or a proof and approve it before anything is printed or pressed. Two rounds of changes are included. Once an item has been printed or pressed it can't be refunded, because it's made specifically for you.
I write the obituary from the facts you give me. You're responsible for checking names, dates, and spellings before it goes to a funeral home or a newspaper. Newspapers charge their own fees and set their own limits, and those are between you and them.
You confirm you have the right to use the photos and information you send, and that you have the family's permission to order on their behalf. I delete everything you send me 30 days after I deliver.
Slideshow music: I use music I'm allowed to use. If you ask for a specific commercial song, that's your choice and your responsibility, and some venues and websites may mute or block it.

Logos and design

Logo and design work is paid up front. You get the number of concepts and rounds of changes listed on the main page. Extra rounds past that are quoted first.
When the job is finished and paid for, the final design is yours to use however you want, forever. I don't resell or reuse your finished logo for anybody else. Concepts you didn't pick stay mine.
I won't copy or closely imitate somebody else's logo, and I won't use a brand, sports team, character, or image you don't have the rights to. If you send me artwork, you're confirming it's yours to use.
I design, I don't print. For shirts, signs, banners, fans, labels, tickets and similar items you get a finished print-ready file and you arrange the printing. Printers vary, and the exact colors on a screen and on paper or fabric are never identical.
I don't register trademarks and I don't check whether a name or design is already trademarked. If that matters for your business, that's a question for a lawyer before you print anything.

Photo books and calendars

Photo books and calendars are printed by an outside printing company and shipped to the address you give me. Prices include printing and one US shipment.
You see the full layout and approve it before anything is printed. Once approved and printed, these can't be refunded, because they're made from your pictures for you.
You're responsible for checking names, dates, and spellings on the proof. On calendars, that includes every birthday and anniversary you asked me to print.
You confirm you have the right to use the photos you send. I delete them 30 days after delivery.
Printing and shipping times are the printer's, not mine. I'll tell you their current estimate before you pay, and I'll tell you honestly if a date can't be met.

Custom gift baskets

I tell you your exact total before anything is bought. You pay first, then I shop, and I send you the receipts for what I bought and photos before it goes out.
If a store is out of something, I'll show you the closest thing before buying it.
Baskets can't be refunded once I've shopped, because everything in them is picked for one specific person.
I'm not a licensed alcohol or tobacco seller, so I don't buy or resell alcohol, wine, beer, or tobacco. If a basket is to include those, you supply them yourself, everyone involved is 21 or over, I'll check ID at handoff, and that basket is local pickup or local delivery only because those items can't legally be mailed.
I don't include prescription medication, vapes, cannabis products, or anything illegal to buy or resell, at any price.
Tell me about allergies on the form. I'll avoid what you list, but I can't guarantee anything about how the items were manufactured or packaged.

Pickup runs

My fee covers going to get something you ordered and bringing it to you. The food or merchandise itself is separate and is yours to pay for — either you pay the business directly, or you send me that money before I go and I send you the receipt with any change.
My fee is paid before I leave. I'll tell you before you pay whether I can make the time you want.
I pick up orders you placed. I don't place the order, choose substitutions, or decide for you — if the business is closed, out of something, or badly delayed, I'll contact you from there.
I don't pick up alcohol, tobacco, vapes, cannabis products, prescription medication, firearms or ammunition, anything requiring my own ID or payment card, or anything from a private person rather than a business.
I'm not responsible for the quality, accuracy, temperature, or preparation of food or goods made by somebody else. If the restaurant got your order wrong, that's between you and them, though I'll tell you what I saw.
If I can't make your time or can't complete the run, I refund my fee.

Tech help

I help with everyday phone, tablet, computer, printer, and TV setup and problems, in plain English, at the rates on the main page. Sessions are paid before we start.
If I can't fix it, you don't pay for that session and I refund it.
You keep control of your own accounts. I don't ask for or keep your passwords, bank logins, or Social Security number, and I'd rather you type your own passwords. I won't take remote control of your device for anything you didn't ask for.
I'm not a repair shop. I don't fix cracked screens, broken hardware, or anything requiring a device to be opened.
I'm not responsible for data loss, hardware failure, or problems caused by a device's age or condition. Back up anything irreplaceable before we start, and I'll help you do that if you want.
I don't contact your bank, your carrier, or any company on your behalf, and I won't ask you to send money to anybody as part of fixing something.

Mobile notary

I am not a commissioned notary public yet. Until my commission is issued I can't notarize anything, and the waitlist form is only so I can tell you when I can.
When commissioned: Illinois caps the notary fee at $5 per notarial act, and that's all I charge for the act itself. Travel fees are separate and are listed on the main page, which serves as my posted fee schedule.
A notary verifies identity and witnesses a signature. A notary is not a lawyer. I can't tell you what a document means, whether to sign it, how to complete it, or prepare one for you.
I may decline any notarization, including if identification is insufficient, if the signer doesn't appear to understand or is being pressured, if the document is incomplete, or if I'm asked to backdate anything.

Websites

I build and launch websites to the package you picked and the information you give me. Package prices are on the main page. Half is due before I start and the rest before the site goes live, unless we agree otherwise in writing.
Your domain is yours. If I buy it for you, I buy it in your name and add the exact registrar price to your invoice with no markup. Domain prices are set by the registrar, not by me, and they renew every year. You keep the domain whether or not you keep working with me.
Hosting. Sites are set up on a free hosting plan (Cloudflare Pages at the time of writing). That company sets its own terms and limits and can change them. If a site ever outgrows the free plan, I'll tell you before anything costs you money.
Handover. When the final payment clears, the site files, the domain, and every login are yours. I don't hold your site hostage and I don't put my name on it unless you ask me to.
Two rounds of changes are included before launch. After launch, changes are $25 each, or $100 a year for up to 12 small changes. The yearly plan is optional and isn't required to keep your site online.
You confirm that the text, photos, and logos you send are yours or that you have permission to use them. I won't copy another site, build anything made to look like a company or person it isn't, or publish medical, legal, or money claims that can't be backed up.
I don't guarantee any particular search ranking, traffic, or sales. I'm not responsible for outages, price changes, or policy changes at your hosting company, registrar, or payment processor.
If I can't take your project, you get a full refund. Once work has started, the deposit isn't refundable, but you still get the work completed to that point and your included changes.

Publishing your book

I format, design, and upload books to Amazon KDP for other authors. Package prices are on the main page. Half is due before I start and the rest before the book is submitted, unless we agree otherwise in writing.
I don't write your book. I work with the manuscript you give me.
The account and the money are yours. The KDP account is in your name with your own bank and tax information, which only you can enter. Amazon pays your royalties directly to you. I take no share of your sales, ever. Your copyright stays yours, and you can change the price, update, or unpublish the book at any time without asking me.
I work inside your KDP account only with your permission and only while setting your book up. You should change the password once I'm done.
You confirm that you wrote or own the rights to everything in the book, including photos, artwork, lyrics, and quotes, and that you have permission to use any real person's name, likeness, or story. You are responsible for the content of your book.
Amazon reviews every book and can reject, delay, or remove one for its own reasons. Printing costs, royalty rates, and shipping prices are set by Amazon and can change. No one can guarantee sales, reviews, rankings, or a bestseller tag, and I don't.
Two rounds of changes are included before the book is submitted. If I can't take your project, you get a full refund. Once work has started, the deposit isn't refundable, but you keep the finished files I've made.

Monthly plans

Monthly plans cover the amount listed on the main page for that plan, for example four bulletins, one newsletter, or twelve graphics in a month. If a month runs past that, I'll tell you the extra cost before I do the work.
The first month is paid up front and then the same amount is charged on the same day each month until you cancel.
No contract. You can cancel any month, yourself through the payment link or by telling me, with no cancellation fee. Canceling stops future charges; it doesn't refund a month already worked.
Everything I've already made for you stays yours to keep and use after you cancel.
I need your information a few days before each due date. If it arrives late, the file may be late, and that doesn't change the price for the month.
I don't log into your social media accounts, post for you, or run your pages. I make the files and you post them.
Managed Privacy Clean-Up plans are covered under the Privacy Clean-Up section above.

Digital guides and printable games

Guides and printable games are PDF files you download right after paying. They're for your personal use only. Please don't share, copy, or resell them. Because you get the file instantly, sales are final. You may print games as many times as you need for your own parties and events. If your download doesn't work, message me with the email you paid with and I'll send it to you. Guides are general information, not legal, tax, or financial advice, and companies' prices and rules can change after a guide is written.

Email list

If you sign up, I'll email you about new books, songs, and deals, a few times a month at most. My list is run by an email service called Kit, which stores your first name and email and sends the emails for me. You'll get one email to confirm your sign-up. Every email has an unsubscribe link, and I never sell or share the list.

Referral deals

Links on the deals page are my personal referral links, and I may earn a reward when you sign up. Offers are set by each company and can change. I'm not affiliated with them. Sports betting and casino offers are for adults only (21+ for sportsbooks) where legal. Gambling problem? Call or text 1-800-GAMBLER.

Refunds and issues

If something isn't right with an order, message me through the main page and I'll work with you. My total responsibility for any order is limited to what you paid me for it.

Changes

I may update this page. The date at the top shows the latest version.